He was a recent convert to Islam and I was raised Catholic. We were walking down the street one night when he draped my scarf over my head and around my face. “Look how beautiful you look,” he said at my reflection in a cafe window. “But, you can only see my eyes,” I said. “That’s why it’s beautiful,” he answered.

—Catherine

Aftermath: We broke up a short time later. We’re great friends today, but I don’t know how many of his girlfriends are behind the veil.

My boyfriend (Russian) and I (American Chinese) were talking on Skype, and being the internationally inclined nerds we are, we started looking up how to say different things in each other’s languages. He tried saying “I like you” in Chinese, and so I decided to surprise him by saying “I like you” in Russian. Unfortunately I said “I love you.”

—Amanda

Aftermath: He nervously laughed and said “I don’t think I’m ready for that.” Don’t trust online translators. Ever.

My new girlfriend, a gorgeous Eurasian Filipina, and I  jumped into bed for a steamy session. I did a reach around to grab her butt, and to my horror, I felt either hemorrhoids or she had shat herself. My d*ck shrank, and I dismounted and sent her home.

—Fila

Aftermath: Over at once

He was my crush in high school. Then he courted me, but I didn’t give him my permission yet. Then, he left…without a word. After two years, he came back and asked for my hand again. But then, I already had someone else.

—A.A.

Aftermath: I then said “yes” but broke up seven days after.

 

It was over when he came in my mouth—by mistake, and I spat it back in his face—intentionally.

—Angela

Aftermath: He hit me in the face with his penis and now I swallow all the time.