“Puppy Love”

best of chemistry weird

I met a guy who worked at Pet Smart, and we went on a date the next Friday. We went back to my place, and I went to put on my sexy lingerie. I came out to my date simulating doggy-style sex with my dog. I proceeded to watch him slap my dog’s *ss. After I interrupted the two, he said my dog had a nice *ss.


Aftermath: I had to give my dog up for adoption. Unfortunately for Rover, he ended up with an adoption agency that was located in the same Pet Smart the guy worked at. The agency called me a day after giving him up, saying Rover had been adopted.

This post was submitted by Andrew.


“Mail Order Baby”


I was living in another state. She called me on the phone wanting me to “collect a sample” freeze it and send it to her so she could impregnate herself nine months before I got home. She thought it would be romantic to step off the plane and into the hospital for the birth of our “child.”

— katghoti

Aftermath: No sample, no baby, no more attachment.

This post was submitted by katghoti.

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“Barney or Fred?”

best of weird

She “attempted” suicide by eating two more than the recommended dosage of aspirin…

— Luis

Aftermath: Played along with it and talked her down until she agreed that suicide wasn’t the answer. Was worried she might try it again with a harsher drug…like Flinstones chewable vitamins.

This post was submitted by Luis.

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“Jail Bait”

best of weird

I was 20 years old and dating a high school teacher in his early thirties. I jokingly remarked one morning that I was not much older than some of his students to which he replied, “I’m living vicariously through you because I can’t lay a hand on any of them.”

— Em

Aftermath: I bolted and never contacted him again.

This post was submitted by Em.

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“Dog Surgeon”


I came home and discovered that he had gotten drunk and decided to cut my 20 year old dog’s skin tags off with a kitchen knife and bandage him up with duct tape.

— Lo

Aftermath: The duct tape fell off and I came home the next day to the other dog licking his wounds. That was it for me.

This post was submitted by Lo.