“And you’re sure you’re straight?”


I asked him why he didn’t spend anywhere near as much attention to my genitals as I did his. He said because it “grossed him out” to look at, touch, and especially put his face anywhere near vulvas/vaginas. It was made for the penis, and nothing else should go there.


Aftermath: We communicated a couple times via instant message the week after, but never said another word to each other ever again. Fine with me.


“Mood Music/Mood Killer”

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We were getting ready to have sex when he darted over to the computer to put on some “mood music” (his words, not mine) and got distracted by his gaming buddies on ICQ. I finally got his attention and we got down to business but every time the ICQ alert would sound, it’d completely throw him off rhythm. When we were done, he all but ran to the computer, presumably to tell all his friends what a girl was like.


Aftermath: Cheated on him a week later and ended it the next day. At least the break-up sex was good.


“Do we have sex?”


We had been dating for a few weeks and were making out on his couch. Things were getting pretty intense and suddenly he stopped, looked at me and asked, “Now what do we do? Do we have sex? Because we can…my bedroom is right there.” I was instantly turned off. I need a man with confidence and a take—charge attitude. About five minutes later I thanked him for making things awkward and then left.


Aftermath: After telling some friends about it I was convinced to give him a chance to redeem himself. We went out on a couple more dates but I was completely repulsed by him after that.


“Reconciled premarital sex”

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She kept telling me that I needed to go to church with her. When I asked why, she said because God loves us and only wants us to love and obey him. I knew it was over when I asked her how she reconciled our premarital sex with her orthodox religiosity and she told me to shut the F up.


Aftermath: We broke up about a month later. The sex wasn’t that good anyway.

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“Teasing me with a 3-way”

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She was always teasing me with a 3-way, with another girl. But, when she came home with her new best girlfriend, they had no interest in me.


Aftermath: Divorced 6 months later.

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