clashes

 

“Walmart”

best of clashes

We’d been dating about four months, when, during a phone call, she told me that she considered the town I was living in (pop. 7,000) “too big of a city for her” and she wouldn’t live any place “that big” — and her goal in life was to retire from Walmart. I responded along the lines of “You’re joking right?” She hung up on me, and then wouldn’t answer the phone. When I stopped by her house, her mother answered the door saying, “She don’t wanna talk to you, you’ve upset her…”

—Doug

Aftermath: I never saw her face-to-face again, recovered the few items I left at her place and only look back to laugh at how happy I am that I’ve moved on.

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“Marijuana”

clashes

Our relationship was a bit strained from the start, mainly because she liked to smoke weed and steal things from my apartment (which I’d eventually steal back). I was serving my 10th year in the Navy and living outside the base. The one thing I asked of her was to never smoke marijuana in my car. I was driving to work one morning and the military police pulled my car over for a random drug search. I didn’t think anything of it until the drug sniffing dog found her leftovers.

—Tom

Aftermath: Right after work, I confronted her about my “near jail experience.” She couldn’t understand why it was a big deal. She almost flushed my career down the toilet.

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“Knee-jerk jingoism”

best of clashes

He forced me to fly an American flag from the driver’s side window of our car after 9/11. It started falling into the street when I would accidentally open the window for air. On the day I refused to dart into traffic again to retrieve it, I think we both realized it was over.

—Molly

Aftermath: I endured the knee-jerk, 9/11-induced jingoism and “patriotism” for a while. But our divorce was finalized three years later.

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“Left hook”

best of clashes

The last thing I told her was, “You have a beautiful left hook.” She liked to get drunk and argue…about nothing!!

—Mel

Aftermath: This was at the end of our few months together.

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“Glad it isn’t me”

clashes

I knew it was over when she said she was going to Afghanistan and all I could think of was, “Glad it isn’t me.”

–Alex

Aftermath: She’s still there. HA! And I’m still happy not being there.


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