It Was Over When: Tales of Romantic Dead Ends

Geriatric Ovaries

tdomf_feb82 — Thu, 11 Mar 2010 08:51:16 +0000

It was over when he told me I had geriatric ovaries. He proceeded to tell me that women who haven’t had children by the time they were 30 are actually considered geriatric and their chance of having Down syndrome babies increases by 30%.

—Katherine

Aftermath: He invited me back to his place for baklava and whiskey because it increased my chances of having a baby without Down syndrome. I declined and never spoke to him again.

This post was submitted by Katherine.

WINNER! HIGH-larious

tdomf_feb82 — Wed, 10 Mar 2010 09:55:08 +0000

It was over when I got a bag of weed with little hearts drawn on it for Valentine’s Day. I don’t smoke…

—SeelyD

Aftermath: After reminding him that I don’t smoke, he suggested we go out and sell it. We broke up shortly after.

This post was submitted by SeelyD.

WINNER! Frisky

tdomf_feb82 — Tue, 09 Mar 2010 09:11:40 +0000

My wife came home from working at a truck stop as a waitress. We talked about her day and then I started kissing her and getting frisky. She was all excited so, as she stood in front of, me I undid her pants and started to pull them off. I got her pants to her knees when something wet landed on my hand, I looked down and to my horror I saw a used rubber.

—Randy

Aftermath: I got up packed her stuff and through her out and 3 months later I was divorced.

This post was submitted by Randy.

WINNER! Control Freak

tdomf_feb82 — Mon, 08 Mar 2010 09:05:14 +0000

At our wedding reception, he pulled me aside chewed me out and called me slut because my wedding dress showed too much cleavage, even though the lace went from top of cleavage to neck.

—Young and Dumb

Aftermath: Stayed married for 10 years with out being able to wear shorts, makeup, tank tops or any type of v-neck shirt without being called a slut. Guess I’m a slow learner but happy as hell when I could finally wear shorts in 100 degree weather.

This post was submitted by young and dumb.

WINNER! Second Coming

tdomf_feb82 — Sun, 07 Mar 2010 08:57:20 +0000

On our second date, she informed me she was pregnant. Mind you, we didn’t do a damn thing. After I pointed this out, she claimed it to be an Immaculate Conception. And I’m quoting her, “I might be the next Virgin Mary.” I just walked out of the restaurant.

—jloco

Aftermath: It was high school. Got some jackass to date her and the live in some trailer park. Oh and she was never pregnant, just stupid.

This post was submitted by jloco.

WINNER! 1, 2, 3… 9, 10, 11

tdomf_feb82 — Sat, 06 Mar 2010 09:56:17 +0000

My wife and I were sitting around drinking with a bunch of friends. The subject came up over how many times in the last week each couple had sex. My wife went into deep thought, counting on her fingers and then blurted out a number that was more than twice what I had come up with. After I quizzically mentioned my number the look on her face, and her whispered “Oh S#!t”, was all that needed to be said. The party broke up with everyone apologizing to me.

Aftermath: I now call her my ex-wife. She is almost 40, preggers and misses me. Ahhhh… too bad.

This post was submitted by Scott.

Inbox

admin — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 09:52:26 +0000

We had been looking at homes for a few months and finally found one. After talking about the mortgage, she wouldn’t co-sign the house with me. Less than week of moving in to the house together, the nude photographs she sent to her online gaming friends showed up in my email inbox.

—Scott

Aftermath: Moved out a month later, and never talked to her again.

Position

admin — Thu, 04 Mar 2010 09:20:05 +0000

We were in the middle of our equally appreciated morning sex, when she stopped and informed me she could not continue until I apologized to her for the position I chose to sleep in after a night of drinking together.

—Ben

Aftermath: I gave her everything I had for 19 months, a week after this occurrence I gave up hoping she would figure herself out. She had some serious self esteem issues. I recommended therapy, but she blamed me for it all. It was the hardest thing I’ve ever done. I’m still in love with who she could be.

WINNER! Cartoon Sing Along

tdomf_feb82 — Wed, 03 Mar 2010 10:34:35 +0000

I was on a blind date. We had time to kill before the movie at the mall. We were walking around and small-talking in the electronics department of a store. They were playing an old Bugs Bunny cartoon. To get a laugh, I sang along with the song that Bugs was singing. She looked at me in an odd way. I explained that I had the song on a CD. That only made it worse.

—Frank

Aftermath: Cartoon Boy didn’t get a second date.

This post was submitted by Frank.

Exotic Massage

tdomf_feb82 — Tue, 02 Mar 2010 19:02:14 +0000

My friends were going through the (gay) exotic massages and other sexual offers on Craigslist and laughing at how funny some of them sounded. They got to one that had a familiar number. It was my boyfriend’s number.

—Jane Doe

Aftermath: Had a guy friend set up a time and place to meet him. I was there to and broke up with him.

This post was submitted by Jane Doe.