I love the beach, it’s my happy place. But when I took him there, he whined about the sand like a little bitch.
—A
Aftermath: We stayed together for 4 years & he continued to be Debbie Downer. After we broke up, I watched Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory for the first time since 3rd grade & realized he strongly resembled an Oompa-Loompa.
One night I realized that my South African boyfriends’ accent annoyed me more than Kimmy Gibbler annoyed Danny Tanner on “Full House.” He realized that I hated him and broke up with me on G-chat that night
—Lindsay
Aftermath: My best friend de-friended him on Facebook and told him to go “stoff himself.”
He told me he didn’t own a pair of jeans. He wore athletic shorts and sweatpants all winter.
—S
Aftermath: I actually moved in with him a year later, then moved 500 miles away the year after that.
He said he’d marry me when he bought a house. We looked at about 20 houses—none were good enough. He opted for buying a car instead. I knew right then that he’d never be able to commit to me. I dumped him a week later, on Tax Day.
—Julia
Aftermath: He was married within a year to someone else. From what I hear, it’s not a happy union either.
I realized that only thing I’d miss about him was the ribs he’d make.
—Marla
Aftermath: Broke it off about a week later.
