quirks

 

“Over it”

quirks

I knew my first fiancé wasn’t for me when, a week after my grandfather died, he asked me, “Are you not over it yet?”

—K

Aftermath: Sadly, I didn’t take the hint. I later discovered he slept with the holiday rep on a holiday I paid for. He was promptly dumped and then had the balls to stalk me for 18 months!

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6

“Pillow”

quirks

He started pulling a pillow between us whenever we slept. He said he didn’t want me to get offended by his breath. Oh come on.

Cocotambo

Aftermath: It ended after a month.

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2

“Eyes rolled back”

quirks

His eyes rolled back into his head if he experienced something pleasurable. I could get him to do it by scratching the top of his head. At one point, after he had been acting distant for a few weeks, I started scratching his head and his eyes rolled back for a few seconds before they snapped back into placehe looked at me and asked abruptly, “What are you doing?” All I could do was let my hand drop and respond, “Nothing.”

Leah

Aftermath: I think we had our “spending some time apart” talk the next morning and officially broke up a few weeks later.

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6

“Guilty”

best of quirks

When he told me that we couldn’t move in together because he’d feel guilty when he brought other girls home.

Natalie

Aftermath: Moved in with the guy I was sleeping with before him. He’s living with a guy.

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8

“Loofah”

quirks

He had dilapidated purple loofah gloves hanging in his shower. When I asked him if they belonged to his daughter, he said, “No, they’re mine. I have to keep my skin smooth.” The end.

Angus La Rue

Aftermath: I broke up with him on the spot and cried my eyes out all the way home.

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