best-of

 

“O Face looked like her Brother”

best of sex

I started dating my buddy’s hot sister. We had great sex until the first time she had an orgasm while on top facing me. Her orgasm face made her look exactly like her brother. I immediately lost “it.”

— HockeyDude

Aftermath: We split up and haven’t seen her since.

This post was submitted by HockeyDude.

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“The Defecator”

best of manners

I was dating a guy who installed water softeners. He told me that while he was at people’s homes if the water was shut off he would just s*** there in their basement or crawl space. If it was the crawl space, he left it.

— Kimberly

Aftermath: I am no longer with him. The man I am marrying knows how to hold it and where to go.

This post was submitted by Kimberly.

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“Spittin’ Nails”

best of manners

He refused to use nail clippers, instead pulling his foot up to his mouth and chewing off his toenails! Then he spit them out on my carpet!

— Angie

Aftermath: I packed his stuff and put it in my driveway. Then I called him at work and told him to bring a truck because he was OUT!

This post was submitted by Angie.

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“Death of a Marriage”

best of manners

The day of my dad’s funeral my husband insisted on stopping at an archery store so he could “look around.”

— boomer

Aftermath: We are divorced.

This post was submitted by boomer.

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“Jesus is Watching”

best of sex

I can’t decide…When we were having sex and he pulled out, threw on his clothes and said “We can’t do this, Jesus is watching,” or when he told me we could never hang out on Sundays because that’s when his “Magic the Gathering” card club met.

— Red Balloon

Aftermath: He broke up with me about a week after the sex incident, saying we were “going too fast” and that he needed to be more mature for his mother.

This post was submitted by Red Balloon.


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