best-of

 

“My wife’s fiance”

best of secrets!

My wife’s “fiance” called one night when the wife wasn’t home and I answered the phone.

— Tom

Aftermath: We separated that night and got divorced a couple months later. They married a month or so after that and now have a kid.

This post was submitted by Tom.

0

“Un-circumcise contraption”

best of weird

He announced he was still traumatized from being circumcised and he wanted to “grow it back.”

He spent every day with his tiny unit wrapped in surgical tape and popsicle sticks, with a lead weight dangling from it. Then he accused me of not wanting to have sex with him. Um, why would I?? He was lousy in bed anyway, even when he wasn’t wrapped like a mummy.

— Kat

Aftermath: I moved out. He emailed about a year later to tell me his little project was a success, but I told him that wasn’t an appropriate topic between us.

This post was submitted by kat.

0

“If this hearse is a rockin’…”

best of weird

He drove a 1960’s hearse, which I thought was awesome. He called me 4 times a day for 3 weeks, and inevitably he would try to convince me to have sex with him in his hearse.

— Creepy. Just creepy.

Aftermath: He was a virgin, and claimed that’s why his dad bought the vehicle for him.

This post was submitted by Creepy. Just creepy..

0

“3 a.m. Call”

best of secrets!

It was over when his wife called me at 3 a.m. — that was a surprise!!

—tabitha

Aftermath: I found a great man who is not married and loves me.

This post was submitted by tabitha.


Comments Off on 3 a.m. Call
1

“WINNER! Transformers”

best of chemistry

He spent the majority of his half of the rent money on Transformers toys and Magic playing cards. One day, I came home from work and found my unemployed boyfriend (a grown man) on the living room floor with all his Transformers lined up perfectly, like a little army. He was playing with them.

—Leslie

Aftermath: Being a good sport at the time, I bought him Unicron, the “king” of all Transformers, for Christmas. It was the best day of his life!

This post was submitted by Leslie.


Comments Off on WINNER! Transformers
1