best-of

 

“Text-pal”

best of manners

Went out to dinner with an old girlfriend. Up front, I asked if she was seeing anyone. She replied, “No.” After dinner, we went back to my place to watch a movie. She had been rudely texting most of the evening thru dinner and our conversations…so I was curious at this “text-pal.” I maneuvered to give her a shoulder massage and looked onto her phone and discovered explicit texts to some guy.

—Christine

Aftermath: Movie concluded. I drove her home and she asked why I didn’t invite her to stay the night…

This post was submitted by Christine.

0

“Danglers”

best of sex

He asked me if I wanted to lick on his danglers while another guy rammed him in his backside (NOT the words he used!).

—EssCee

Aftermath: HIV test.

This post was submitted by EssCee.

3

“Next”

best of weird

I had just arrived to pick her up for our first date when her little boy ran over to me and said, “My mom says you are going to be my next dad.” Yes, he said, “Next.” We went out that night and never again.

—Dace

Aftermath: I ran into her a year or so later and found out she had gotten married but was getting a divorce, after only a year. Her kid’s new daddy number 4.

This post was submitted by Dace.

3

“Should Have”

best of weird

Long distance relationship for 1.5 years. Lived together for a year and few months. I should have left when I had to sneak and take birth control pills because he had the crazy thought that if we had a baby that we would be together forever… I should have left when I had to start hiding the battery, phone and my cellphone in 3 different places at night so that he couldn’t check my cellphone to see if I was talking to other men. He had to go when he started sniffing my underwear every time I took them off.

—Nikki

Aftermath: After I finally got him to move out, he moved a few blocks away from where I lived. Two weeks later, a hurricane blew me to Texas and him to Georgia. After he realized that I wasn’t letting him come to Texas to be with me, he bought a house for us in Georgia that he’s still waiting for me to be a resident in….NOT!!!

This post was submitted by Nikki.

1

“Matching Banana Hammocks”

best of chemistry

My boyfriend and his best friend bought the same “banana hammocks” and thought it was “normal” to wear them together at a fraternity party. Did I mention they were roommates?

—Heather

Aftermath: I later found out that he became bisexual with that roommate and now has a fat girlfriend who LOOKS like a man.

This post was submitted by Heather.

0