best-of

 

“Puppy Love”

best of chemistry weird

I met a guy who worked at Pet Smart, and we went on a date the next Friday. We went back to my place, and I went to put on my sexy lingerie. I came out to my date simulating doggy-style sex with my dog. I proceeded to watch him slap my dog’s *ss. After I interrupted the two, he said my dog had a nice *ss.

—Andrew

Aftermath: I had to give my dog up for adoption. Unfortunately for Rover, he ended up with an adoption agency that was located in the same Pet Smart the guy worked at. The agency called me a day after giving him up, saying Rover had been adopted.

This post was submitted by Andrew.

0

“High Fidelity”

best of clashes

While saying our vows, my soon to be husband broke down in laughter… he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried, say the word “fidelity.”

— Jane Doe

Aftermath: Five years later we divorced.

This post was submitted by Jane Doe.

0

“O Face looked like her Brother”

best of sex

I started dating my buddy’s hot sister. We had great sex until the first time she had an orgasm while on top facing me. Her orgasm face made her look exactly like her brother. I immediately lost “it.”

— HockeyDude

Aftermath: We split up and haven’t seen her since.

This post was submitted by HockeyDude.

0

“The Defecator”

best of manners

I was dating a guy who installed water softeners. He told me that while he was at people’s homes if the water was shut off he would just s*** there in their basement or crawl space. If it was the crawl space, he left it.

— Kimberly

Aftermath: I am no longer with him. The man I am marrying knows how to hold it and where to go.

This post was submitted by Kimberly.


Comments Off on The Defecator
0

“Spittin’ Nails”

best of manners

He refused to use nail clippers, instead pulling his foot up to his mouth and chewing off his toenails! Then he spit them out on my carpet!

— Angie

Aftermath: I packed his stuff and put it in my driveway. Then I called him at work and told him to bring a truck because he was OUT!

This post was submitted by Angie.


Comments Off on Spittin’ Nails
0