I met a guy who worked at Pet Smart, and we went on a date the next Friday. We went back to my place, and I went to put on my sexy lingerie. I came out to my date simulating doggy-style sex with my dog. I proceeded to watch him slap my dog’s *ss. After I interrupted the two, he said my dog had a nice *ss.

—Andrew

Aftermath: I had to give my dog up for adoption. Unfortunately for Rover, he ended up with an adoption agency that was located in the same Pet Smart the guy worked at. The agency called me a day after giving him up, saying Rover had been adopted.

I hadn’t dated in four years, and had just gone through a bad break up, so was emotionally unsteady and unprepared for the dating world. But when the first post break up nice guy asked me out to dinner, I was so flattered and surprised, I automatically said yes. I met him at the restaurant; we were about to order, when he leaned across the table and asked me, “So, am I paying for this or are we splitting it or what?” I had assumed we would split the bill (arrested dating development), so I said, ‘No, I’ll pay for myself.’ Didn’t realize what a schmuck he was until I told that story to my girlfriends, at which point I realized it was over before it began.

—Sasha

Aftermath: One more “date,” where I paid for myself—again.

This guy and I were friends for a while, but I was in a long-term relationship and he lived out of town. My boyfriend and I broke up, and my friend flew all the way from Texas to visit, just to make sure I was okay. One thing led to another, and we ended up in bed. He started “pumping” so fast, I couldn’t hold back the laughter. I asked him to get off of me and asked him to leave.

—Ilovesunshine

Aftermath: We never really talked again, and I lost a very dear friend. I wish we never crossed that line.

It was New Year’s Eve. I’d been seeing him for 4 months when he invited me to a party for New Year’s. Then, all of a sudden, he kissed me and I liked it. He gave me a drink and said he loved me. Then he threw up on me, and I just screamed at him. Everybody looked at us, and I just screamed and ran.

—donewithdumps

Aftermath: He was WASTED, so I left him on the curb. P.S. He drives a nice car (mine).

While saying our vows, my soon to be husband broke down in laughter… he couldn’t, no matter how hard he tried, say the word “fidelity.”

— Jane Doe

Aftermath: Five years later we divorced.