She kept telling me that I needed to go to church with her. When I asked why, she said because God loves us and only wants us to love and obey him. I knew it was over when I asked her how she reconciled our premarital sex with her orthodox religiosity and she told me to shut the F up.

—Patricio

Aftermath: We broke up about a month later. The sex wasn’t that good anyway.

I drove 140 miles to console her over getting a ‘B’ on a graduate school exam even though I was terribly ill. During the night she woke me to tell me my breathing was bothering her and could I go sleep on the couch?

—Andy

Aftermath: Four months later, she told me that she sat rocking in a chair and crying all afternoon because she felt all of her friends liked me more than her and she wanted to be the ‘star’ of the relationship.

He showed me his house. He had two life-size mannequins in his living room, man and woman. They were dressed in the exact outfits his parents were married in (wedding dress and military uniform). From head to toe, everything the mannequins wore on their wedding day. I thought maybe his parents had passed and he was remembering or honoring them. No, they are still alive.

—Ricky

Aftermath: That was date #2; he didn’t get to date #3. Too creepy for me.

My wife returned home after a weekend “at the beach” and told me she had found another place to live “alone.”

—LH

Aftermath: Less than a week.

She was always teasing me with a 3-way, with another girl. But, when she came home with her new best girlfriend, they had no interest in me.

—Ricky

Aftermath: Divorced 6 months later.