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“Dumb A**”
He asked if the blow job I gave him the night before could have gotten me pregnant.
—Ann
Aftermath: I spent a couple of weeks in denial before I finally broke it off, but I felt so much better once I did.
“You Had Time”
It was over when I told him that I needed a few days to myself because I was feeling smothered, then he sent me an instant message 8 hours later to see if I’d had enough time yet.
—Amy
Aftermath: I signed off AIM and ignored his calls that day, then I broke up with him the next day in person. He sobbed.
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“Yo-Yo”
I destroyed myself over this boy, who was a f**king yo-yo. First, he was in love with me, then not-feeling-it, then we were friends-who-cuddle, then I-don’t-have-those-feelings-anymore, then we-are-soulmates. Problem was: After the soulmate phase, we went different directions for summer and he got a girlfriend and didn’t bother to mention it to me until the fall. But he hopes we could still be great friends. Oh, and he “still has feelings” and wanted to come see me to “talk it out.”
—Morgan
Aftermath: He still wants to be friends. I don’t. A waste of 2 years of my life.
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“Lake Superior”
I once met a girl at a bar. Actually it was an open bar. Dangerous stuff. We went back to her apartment. The next morning the bed was covered with pee. Every square inch soaked. Even the pillows were wet. It was either her, or me, or her fat angry cat. I suspect the cat. We didn’t talk about the elephant in the room, or the Lake Superior on her bed.
—Jack Diamond
Aftermath: There was no second “date.”