My sister was deployed to Iraq. I cried. My boyfriend told me to “man up” and asked what I was going to make for dinner.

— Marie

Aftermath: I told him to pack his stuff and go. Judging from the many texts and voicemails, he still has no idea what he did wrong.

After going down on my girlfriend and giving her an amazing orgasm, she proudly said she wasn’t going to return the favor because “I’ve gone down on lots of guys and never gotten anything in return. This is payback.”

— Derrick

Aftermath: Quit trying with her.

He left me 18 days after our wedding, and 8 days after his ex came into town.

— Not a vaccuum

Aftermath: I would probably have given him another chance, if he hadn’t shown up to move out with a huge hickey.

I should have known it was over when I brought my boyfriend to my senior prom and was forced into a bet with my friends. The bet was that he’d be out of the closet within two years.

— Anna

Aftermath: Luckily my friends are nice and didn’t really want the money. But on the inside I lost more than $50.

He took 99 of our last 100 dollars out of our bank account because he needed to have an STD test done before the girl he liked would sleep with him. I’m not sure why because I was completely faithful to him and he knew it.

— bennie

Aftermath: We are divorced. I have the house and our son and he is currently homeless.