I found a compare/contrast list comparing me to his ex-girlfriend and I objectively thought she was a better choice.

—M

Aftermath: We broke up, got back together. Went through counseling. Now we’re happily married with 2 kids.

It was over when he came in my mouth—by mistake, and I spat it back in his face—intentionally.

—Angela

Aftermath: He hit me in the face with his penis and now I swallow all the time.

She decided to mix my body wash with Nair.

— Matt

Aftermath: We broke up, and I currently have no hair.

During a heated argument I pushed him and he pushed me back. He called 911 and the police came. I was so angry I argued with the police and they took me away for being uncooperative. I spent three days in jail until my brother (an attorney) bailed me out. When I came home my dad was there from out of state. He wanted to surprise me. Bad timing.

— EB

Afermath: Dumped him. Twenty years later I’m still in love with a man his complete opposite and we have five children.

We met up at a bar one night with a bunch of friends and I rode with a friend of mine. He convinced me to go back to his place with him (30 miles out of the city) and he would drive me home. At his house he promptly fell asleep. When I tried to wake him up he said “just take my car.” Seriously??

— Over it

Aftermath: I drove myself home and parked his car near my house in a random parking lot and put the keys under the mat. Hope he had fun looking for his car.