He liked naked time and got mirrored closet doors. I saw him bend over repeatedly while changing the sheets on the bed. OMFG is he hairy!

—MissDruid

Aftermath: I gotta get away from here!

I dated this gal for a month and she told me she would swim to the bottom of the ocean for me. I replied with “But your head would explode.” She said that was fine, if it were for me. Then I asked her if she would still love me if I was a serial killer. She said yes!

—Max Armbar

Aftermath: Needless to say, I did not kill multiple people to see if she was telling the truth. I just got the heck out of Dodge.

Half way through sex, my boyfriend looked at the clock and said, “Oh crap its 4:25 my crops are going to wither!” and proceeded to go to the computer to harvest his crop on Farmville, an online game.

—Sandra

Aftermath: I left and never went back.

We only see each other when we’re not sober. We made out for the first time and he kept burping his beer breath into his kisses.

—losersloveme

Aftermath: Made him burp the rest out but nothing happened after that.

The first time we kissed, she bit my lip. I’m not opposed to nibbling, but she busted it open.

—Tony

Aftermath: 15 minutes