best-of

 

“Bad Vibes”

best of secrets!

On our first date. I kept getting a “creepy uncle” vibe from him. He was a few years older than I was, and spent most of the night telling me about how he had lost his wife and child to a drunk driver a few years earlier. When he dropped me off, he spent several minutes trying to talk himself into my house. I refused to let him in and lost his number.

—esnymos

Aftermath: I learned from a mutual friend that his wife and child were alive and well, living 2 states over while he finished off his degree.


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4

“The Deer Hunter”

best of manners

This wasn’t a hunting expedition, at least that’s what my husband told me when I agreed to go with him. We were in the truck when we spotted a deer about ten yards from the dirt road we were on. Before I knew it, my husband had gotten his gun out and shot the doe while still sitting in the truck. I was horrified.

—Becca

Aftermath: What he did was illegal and I lost a lot of respect for him that day. I also realized just how little he respected me because he wasn’t a bit concerned about how it made me feel witnessing the kill. We divorced a year later.


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3

“Half-Jewish”

best of weird

We had been dating about a month when I told him that I was half Jewish. He got a weird look on his face, but didn’t say anything. The next day, he told me that he couldn’t see me anymore because he wanted to be a Baptist preacher one day. He couldn’t be with a girl with a Jewish heritage, even though I didn’t practice the religion. I guess we shouldn’t have had all that dirty sex if he was to be a man of God.

—Melanie

Aftermath: We still had to work together for a few months after that, and then he moved out of town. I haven’t seen him since. I wonder if he’s a preacher now?

0

“XXX-Mas Shopping”

best of secrets! sex

In a two-year relationship and I was Christmas shopping with her 11-year-old daughter. We came home early and caught her mother (my girlfriend) fellating a mutual friend. She took him out of her mouth and while still holding it said, “This isn’t what it looks like.” I told her I was taking her daughter to her mother’s house and left.

—jp

Aftermath: Never spoke again. Her mother was horrified, as I had done CPR on her dad and saved his life a few weeks earlier. The child was mortified and still calls me 5 years later.

3

“Inexperienced”

best of chemistry

It somehow came up in discussion, and apparently I’ve kissed more girls than he has. And I’ve never even been into girls. I think he needs more dating experience before getting serious with me.

—Jen

Aftermath: I’m procrastinating ending things. Maybe a break, or a breakup. I swear I’ve tried, but he’s so cute…

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