My mom caught me administering a hummer. He canceled as prom date the day before, had to work, I saw him drive by with another girl that night. Never met his family. Knew he liked guys too. I moved to another state. I finally had sex with him. He went to jail, wrote me, I had sex with him when he got out; my boyfriend of five years broke up with me because of that. Found out he was also banging my best friend… and was married.

—Laura

Aftermath: The entire relationship took ten years of on-and-off to end. I finally said that I would run him over with my car if I ever ever saw him again. I haven’t seen him since.

I only knew the guy for a week and half, when finally he asked if he could come to my place to see me. We were sitting on the couch watching TV (with family upstairs) when he all of the sudden pulled his “junk” out of his pants. In shock, I asked what the hell he was doing? His response: “Well, don’t you want to suck on it?”

—Mandy

Aftermath: I kicked him out of my house immediately. He would call and text everyday after that, not even knowing he did anything wrong. I haven’t spoken to him since.

He liked naked time and got mirrored closet doors. I saw him bend over repeatedly while changing the sheets on the bed. OMFG is he hairy!

—MissDruid

Aftermath: I gotta get away from here!

It was over when I found out that she was bipolar, had somehow kept this from me for almost 2 years, and had decided she didn’t need medication.

—Mickey

Aftermath: Three days.

I dated this gal for a month and she told me she would swim to the bottom of the ocean for me. I replied with “But your head would explode.” She said that was fine, if it were for me. Then I asked her if she would still love me if I was a serial killer. She said yes!

—Max Armbar

Aftermath: Needless to say, I did not kill multiple people to see if she was telling the truth. I just got the heck out of Dodge.