She “attempted” suicide by eating two more than the recommended dosage of aspirin…

— Luis

Aftermath: Played along with it and talked her down until she agreed that suicide wasn’t the answer. Was worried she might try it again with a harsher drug…like Flinstones chewable vitamins.

My ex-wife claimd to be helping her ailing mother, but then her sister called to ask why they hadn’t seen her in a while. When I confronted her about her unexplained absences, she said “we’re not the same people…”

— Chris

Aftermath: We divorced.

After our first date he turned to me and said he was having a party because he was moving out of the state and he really, really wanted me there because it was “our last chance to be together…if you know what I mean.”

— Jen

Aftermath: I did not return any of his calls and two months later I saw him at a restaurant I was at. So much for having  moved out of state!

She slept over one night and we woke up late on a weekday. She said she was late for school. To my horror she had me drop her off at a local high school.

— Tom

Aftermath: I sold my car and joined the military and am now in Iraq. Is that far enough?

At the end of the date, he held me in a death grip and plastered his disgustingly wet lips (and tongue) across my mouth. Then he pulled back and said, “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?”

— Amy

Aftermath: Ugh, it was worse than bad. I never saw him again.