I dated a guy who was way into the Society for Creative Anachronisms and wanted me to join because I owned a horse and his “kingdom” needed a jouster. I dumped him when he mandated that we only speak in the King’s English to each other.

–Anastasia

Aftermath: Last I heard, he thought he was a neo-romantic a la Bryan Ferry. At least he’s in this century now.

She couldn’t cook, I love to. Great dinner on the stove, she pops the fridge and proceeds to chow down on chips and dip. Then, “I’m not hungry.”

–Chris

Aftermath: Things went downhill from there pretty fast. Serious heartburn, but hey, life goes on. Always vet the eating habits. The good part: Funny, exciting, ooh the sex. The breakup came after 4 months living together. No amount of bed fun can outweigh something you do three times daily.

I went to a wrap party for a TV show he was working on and everyone I met kept commenting, half-jokingly, to me about how I seemed too cool and nice to be engaged to such an a**hole (their word, not mine). After about conversation #5, a light went off in my head.

–Anastasia

Aftermath: I dumped him about a week later. When his co-workers think he’s a jerk, he probably is.

She was my first real love, I was her second. Our relationship was on the rocks after nearly three years. She told me she wanted a tattoo. I told her I didn’t like the idea. She didn’t care about what I thought or about me.

–Adam

Aftermath: Her first love came back into town after going away to university and boning everything that moved. She went back to him, but refused to tell me there wasn’t a chance for us so as to “not hurt me.”

He explained that his friends at work liked to grab his “muffin top” that hangs over his jeans to tease him.

–Amy

I allowed him to take me on a few more dinner dates because he had good taste in restaurants.