It was over when he asked his cats what I wanted to do that day. In a doggy voice.

—Mizz Gooch

Aftermath: I f***ing hate cats. Only later did I find out that he named one of his cats after his favorite porn star.

I like men with beards. It was over when i realized that all we had in common was that i liked beards and he used to have one.

—Barbara

Aftermath: It took a few months, and there were other reasons, but I realized that this was the turning point. He also had a weak chin.

We were both huge Buffalo Sabres hockey fans. After a few weeks telling me we were going to go to a few games because her father had season tickets, she called me. She had three things to tell me. 1) We were going to go a Sabres game the next week. 2) She wanted to be just friends from then on out.

—S

Aftermath: Well, there was no number 3, we never wound up going to the game, and she started dating some other dude shortly after. I believe they have been to many games.

I knew it was over before it began. We met over the Internet and began the most intense, loving, honest relationship either of us had ever had. We had said we would meet one day but due to issues in both our lives, that never seemed to happen.

—Dani

Aftermath: 9 months later, we realized it was too perfect and magical to work in real life. I don’t regret a single day.

After a whirlwind courtship, I realized he was getting too serious and started to back away slowly. He responded by asking me to accompany him on a trip home to meet his folks after dating for only 3 weeks. We weren’t exclusive at the time, furthermore I was sleeping with someone else (and not him). I left for a long weekend and didn’t call him when I got back. He got the message.

—tripleA

Aftermath: I checked up on his artwork blog a few months later only to discover that he had painted a portrait of me, subtitled “(I hate that I love you)” and created a collage of my old text messages—which he then sent me in the mail.