I am Irish. Red hair. Pale Skin. She is Irish. Red hair. Pale skin. We were together for 3 years when our first child was due to be born. When she went into labor I called all of our friends and family to let them know. They all swarmed to the hospital to see the birth of our son with very dark skin, and short, black, kinky hair.

—Jeremy

Aftermath: My lawyer had the divorce paperwork going before her and the baby left the hospital. I don’t know or care what happened to her.

One evening she invites me over for dinner. The evening was quite romantic, so she wanted to take it a step further. After messing around in the living room, we moved to the bedroom. As we proceeded to make love I noticed the closet door was opening. To my shock, her 13-year-old brother was sitting in the closet watching and eating a tub of popcorn!! When I freaked out she told me, “It’s OK I always let him watch!”

—Chris

Aftermath: Needless to say I was out of there and never heard from her again. Thank God!!

We were planning our wedding and my best friend offered to play at the reception for us. Oher than a one-time hook-up in college, we had always been platonic. My now-ex proceeded to say he could “never have children with a woman who slept with a dirty jew.” I threw him out in the middle of the night and never saw him again.

—KE

Aftermath: I told my doorman to never let him up to my apartment again. A few months later, he proposed – with my ring – to his Aryan, psycho ex who harassed me throughout our relationship. Good riddance!

It was over when he called me “Nancy” in bed. Nancy is not my name. It’s my mother’s.

—Not Nancy

Aftermath: It was also his ex-girlfriend’s name. I broke up with him soon after, for less creepy reasons.

It was over when I fell asleep during the three-way.

—Anonymous

Aftermath: More sleeping.