We went on a date despite the fact that she had just given birth three months ago (I didn’t ask and didn’t care). We were making out in my car and she kept complaining that her boobs hurt when she didn’t “remove” the milk. She asked me if I wanted to see them. As a guy, I would NEVER turn down the sight of boobs. I thought it was an invitation to upcoming sex, but I was DEAD wrong. She relieved herself by squirting milk all over the inside of my car, dashboard, rear-view mirror…

—Accol

Aftermath: Ever try scrubbing breast milk off the inside of your car? Didn’t think so.

I couldn’t believe I had found a guy who shared my appreciation of ABBA and Liza Minnelli…until he told me “I’m not straight, but don’t worry, I don’t actually want to sleep with guys.”

—Amy

Aftermath: He lost his beard that day. He still can’t understand why I won’t just look past his orientation.

She took all the money inside our joint account and left me with her flea-infested cat. I hate cats.

—Bernard

Aftermath: I had the cat neutered.

My boyfriend was a self-proclaimed “rapper” and a medical student. He only wrote me one song in our whole relationship. On top of the crappy lyrics of this song, half way through it, he described how he cheated on me. He then posted this song on Facebook.

—Leeann

Aftermath: It was over at that point. He said he hoped we would be friends, that our children could know each other. Why would I want my kids to know someone like that?

After a very dull first date, we went to his house where he pulled out photo albums and started showing me pictures of a camping trip with his ex-girlfriend. Even stranger: I was a total doppelganger for her.

—Elizabeth

Aftermath: I texted to cancel our next date. He called 9 times, leaving 4 sad messages, the last of which was many minutes long, full of tears & whyyyyy, elizabeth whyyy! I played it on speakerphone for my friends.