My boyfriend and his best friend bought the same “banana hammocks” and thought it was “normal” to wear them together at a fraternity party. Did I mention they were roommates?

—Heather

Aftermath: I later found out that he became bisexual with that roommate and now has a fat girlfriend who LOOKS like a man.

My parents just carpeted our downstairs and my boyfriend at the time asked me if we had any carpet left. So I said yes and gave it to him without thinking what he needed it for. The next day he showed up to school wearing the carpet in the form of armor. And wore it for the entire day.

—Shauna

Aftermath: We broke up soon after this happened.

I had been dating a younger man for several years. I had never been so in sync with anyone before and he felt the same way. He said: “This is the most incredible relationship; it’s beyond my wildest dreams.” I agreed. But I knew it was over when he said he loved me so much but he was doubtful because (his very words) “I don’t want to get stuck with an old lady.” Wow, words of love from Mr. Sensitive!

—Boopy

Aftermath: It turns out I didn’t get stuck with an idiot.

My wife of 20 years cheated the 1st time with her boss & the 2nd time with our Roman Catholic priest. She cried & begged me to stay. I did & watched her spend all her savings to nice me up while I saved every cent. Now she is broke & brokenhearted and can’t pay next months rent. She will be evicted. I’m leaving this weekend fully satisfied and vindicated.

—Louis

Aftermath: I won’t even say good-bye. She’ll have to figure it out.

We were hanging out by my firepit with one of his female friends and it was time to go. His friend said she would go wait in the car so we could say goodbye. Then my boyfriend said (in front of her) that we should go into the woods and do it. I was in shock considering she was right there and it was my parents house. Then he had the balls to say, “No? I guess that part of our relationship is over.” Like I would’ve done that before? Keep thinking!

—Kathryn

Aftermath: He got busted that night for driving buzzed with booze in the car. Things weren’t the same after that and we broke it off a few months later.