“And you’re sure you’re straight?”


I asked him why he didn’t spend anywhere near as much attention to my genitals as I did his. He said because it “grossed him out” to look at, touch, and especially put his face anywhere near vulvas/vaginas. It was made for the penis, and nothing else should go there.


Aftermath: We communicated a couple times via instant message the week after, but never said another word to each other ever again. Fine with me.

Share your story

“Puffy paints”

best of chemistry

He cried because he was afraid to go home to his family’s house for Christmas. His mother has a giant collection of puffy paints. His dad turned the spare bedroom into a meditation room, complete with rock garden. His siblings drew names out of a hat to see who got to put the angel on top of the tree. Terrifying. Also, one time he cried because he was afraid to go on a hike in the park.


Aftermath: I slept with his best friend. Made both of them cry. God, I’m such a bitch.

Share your story

“Fast food trash”


A guy I had been dating off and on for six months came to pick me up for a date. The floor of his car on the passenger side was littered with fast food trash. He expected me to put my feet where the trash was and didn’t try to clean it up. It was disgusting.


Aftermath: After the movie, he borrowed five bucks for gas and took me home. We never went out again.

Comments Off on Fast food trash
Share your story

“Mood Music/Mood Killer”

best of sex

We were getting ready to have sex when he darted over to the computer to put on some “mood music” (his words, not mine) and got distracted by his gaming buddies on ICQ. I finally got his attention and we got down to business but every time the ICQ alert would sound, it’d completely throw him off rhythm. When we were done, he all but ran to the computer, presumably to tell all his friends what a girl was like.


Aftermath: Cheated on him a week later and ended it the next day. At least the break-up sex was good.

Share your story

“Out for coffee”


I went out for coffee with a girl from my new job. The first thing I asked after we sat down was how long she’d been working there. Her answer: “Oh, quite awhile. Like a little over a year. Yeah, it’s basically what I’ve been doing since I finished high school.” I’m 29.


Aftermath: When I told her I hadn’t realized how young she was she answered, “Yeah, I kind of wondered if you did.” She never really spoke to me again after that, but made sure to tell everyone at work it was me who was ignoring her. Two months later she was transferred to another area and subsequently quit.

Comments Off on Out for coffee
Share your story