“Mail Order Baby”


I was living in another state. She called me on the phone wanting me to “collect a sample” freeze it and send it to her so she could impregnate herself nine months before I got home. She thought it would be romantic to step off the plane and into the hospital for the birth of our “child.”

— katghoti

Aftermath: No sample, no baby, no more attachment.

This post was submitted by katghoti.

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“Psychic Jack Russell”


My Jack Russell Terrier kept pissing on my ex-wife while she was in bed.

— Jason

Aftermath: A few months later she told me she was divorcing me because I was holding her back.

This post was submitted by Jason.

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“O Face looked like her Brother”

best of sex

I started dating my buddy’s hot sister. We had great sex until the first time she had an orgasm while on top facing me. Her orgasm face made her look exactly like her brother. I immediately lost “it.”

— HockeyDude

Aftermath: We split up and haven’t seen her since.

This post was submitted by HockeyDude.

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“Keep it in the Family”


He joined the Army and kept calling and writing to me professing his love. Then a family friend brought me a picture of him and his new wife of 6 months and the even bigger shock was that his new wife was my cousin!!!

— Addison

Aftermath: He still tries to contact me from time to time….I ignore him.

This post was submitted by Addison.

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“The Defecator”

best of manners

I was dating a guy who installed water softeners. He told me that while he was at people’s homes if the water was shut off he would just s*** there in their basement or crawl space. If it was the crawl space, he left it.

— Kimberly

Aftermath: I am no longer with him. The man I am marrying knows how to hold it and where to go.

This post was submitted by Kimberly.

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