I knew it wouldn’t last long after she told me that I had passed her guy “date-ability” list, missing only one out of 34 requirements. I thought she was kidding until she showed me the actual checked off list.

—LA boy

Aftermath: One week.

After dating for awhile, her boss met me at a party and liked me better. He started asking her to get my advice on things. She lost her limelight to me. I knew it was over when she asked me to delete “certain things” we had done on video.

—Science

Aftermath: We slept together one more time after the break up just because it was always wild. Not heard from her since.

He said my thighs were huge and then started to talk about his size 2 ex-girlfriend.

—Elizabeth

Aftermath: He never called. I left for college. I got over him.

We were pretty wrapped up in a hot & heavy make-out session when all of a sudden he said to me in a really pathetic, seductive sounding voice, “I wish I could remember what color your eyes are.”

—Brown-Eyed Girl

Aftermath: Stopped returning his calls and haven’t spoken to him since.

After two-plus months of dating, he gave me pink, grandma-style drugstore slippers for Christmas. With tassels on them, no less. I spent weeks picking out the perfect gift for him (which cost me about 99% more than what he paid for mine). And the slippers were the wrong size.

—Katy

Aftermath: We broke up the day after Christmas.