On our third date, I met a guy at his house. He was showing me pictures in a photo album. When he came to a picture of himself, he said “There she is, in all her finest!”

—Brian

Aftermath: We did not have a fourth date.

12

He kept climbing up on things. We’d go to a bar and he’d climb on the pool table or the bar or whatever else and perch on it. I think he thought it made him interesting, but it really just made him look like a tool.

—BlueCanary

Aftermath: He started wearing black eyeliner right around the same time I stopped returning his calls.

7

He slept with my coworker to make me jealous. It didn’t.

—Jalinda

Aftermath: He tried to commit suicide two nights after the break-up. I stopped feeling sorry for him after the next girl broke up with him and he again tried to commit suicide. Drama queen!

22

He got skunked in beer pong, a drinking game. The house rules dictated he had to run a naked lap through the woods. Seeing his naked body in the moonlight, I noticed that he looked a lot like photos of Bigfoot sightings.

—Summer

Aftermath: Long enough for me to find out that it’s true that a man loses one inch of “manhood” for every 10 pounds of extra weight.

14

We were making out, and suddenly we had to stop. He looked over at me and said in that stupid, gruff, three-pack-a-day voice of his, “I wish we had more time—and a condom.” We had barely been dating three days.

—Lily

Aftermath: I broke up with him probably two days later. (He sucked at kissing too.)

6