We were in his office when his mother stopped by, and he introduced me as “a friend.”

—MB

Aftermath: Thirty years later, he found me on Facebook and asks to meet for coffee to catch up. Catch up on what? My entire life?

While watching the last “Lord of the Rings” movie, he spent the entire movie whispering to me like an old woman, “Who is that? What are they doing? Is that the bad guy? Where are they going now?“

—Shannon

Aftermath: This made it easy to pull the plug.

I realized it was over when I wanted to spend more time with my mom and her 25-year-old boyfriend than with my boyfriend.

—poemgirl

Aftermath: I used my mom as an excuse to dump him — “she didn’t approve” of my dating him.

I wasn’t really sure how much he liked me, and when he told me one day that his uncle had died and he couldn’t have plans because he was going to the funeral, I felt suspicious. I pretty much knew it was over when I resorted to calling a bunch of funeral homes in the region and asking if they were having a service for “Mr. So and So.”

—Jen

Aftermath: It turns out the uncle did die, as I talked to the funeral home where the service was taking place. But my instincts were right; the guy broke things off a few weeks later.

As I drove her home, she suddenly looked at me in terror and said, “I’m so sorry!” — which was promptly followed by the sound of her full bladder erupting all over my passenger seat.

—oneunfortunateguy

Aftermath: Oddly enough, I didn’t feel compelled to ask her out again.