She told me that she was cheating on a guy named Oz to be with me.
Her age: 21
My age: 17
Oz: 15
Also, she made fun of statutory rape. Really funny

— Jake

Aftermath: She got me in a weak spot (one of my best friends died) and I dated her for three more months, she told me I was too good for her, she was cheating on me, but with an older guy, Oz knows nothing, poor guy.

In an attempt to make my girlfriend jealous back in high school I took her best friend to the winter dance. We made it back to her house and we went right to the bedroom. Clothes started to come off and as I am about to make penetration she looks me right in the eye and says, “Oh Darren, I love you.” Needless to say, I said I wasn’t feeling well and went home.

— Darren

Aftermath: My girlfriend and I have been together for 3 years and couldn’t be happier. Her friend is now a lesbian.

I placed a fake ad on the personals page of a local paper pretending to be exactly the kind of guy I thought she’d like. The ad only got one response, and it was from my wife.

—Dave

Aftermath: I got custody of the kids and am happily remarried. She can’t seem to keep anything steady in her life (job, men, etc.) for more than a few months.

My girlfriend had always complained that I never stopped by during the week to see her (she lived with her parents). So, one day, I was in her neighborhood and her mom answered, but wouldn’t let me in. My girlfriend came to the door and asks what I was doing. It took a few seconds but I figured out what was going on and walked toward my car. She ran after me telling me that he was just a friend.

—Rick

Postscript: Her mom later told me she had been seeing both of us; neither one of us knew about the other. We didn’t see each other for about a year, got back together for about a year, then went our separate ways. She was beautiful, I miss her.

My drunk boyfriend called and woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me he took my car and to not get mad but he totaled it. Then a girl gets on the phone to tell me he feels really bad…… Hmmm who the hell is this girl? And to top it off it was going to be paid off in 3 months.

— Shelly

Aftermath: The insurance only gave me $12,000 so now I’m driving a Toyota Camry. I’m saving up to buy another Mercedes.