quirks
It was over when I realized that I didn’t love him, that I was in love with someone else, someone who didn’t put the World of Warcraft before me.
—It’s Okay
Aftermath: It lasted another week and I never had the guts to tell the other guy that I loved him. I found out many months later, when I moved across the country, that he had always loved me too.
best of clashes
We’d been dating about four months, when, during a phone call, she told me that she considered the town I was living in (pop. 7,000) “too big of a city for her” and she wouldn’t live any place “that big” — and her goal in life was to retire from Walmart. I responded along the lines of “You’re joking right?” She hung up on me, and then wouldn’t answer the phone. When I stopped by her house, her mother answered the door saying, “She don’t wanna talk to you, you’ve upset her…”
—Doug
Aftermath: I never saw her face-to-face again, recovered the few items I left at her place and only look back to laugh at how happy I am that I’ve moved on.
best of secrets!
He pretended to be the father of terminally ill child to get a free vacation to Disney World out of the Make-A-Wish Foundation.
—Bobby
Aftermath: It lasted a week while I figured out the best way to break up with him without him wanting to ruin my life with harassment.
best of manners
He had just moved in with me about a month prior and one day while sitting on the couch together watching “The Tudors” on TV, I noticed he was picking at his toes. A few minutes later, I noticed that he was holding something between his thumb and index finger. Before I knew it, he had put the mystery piece in his mouth and about a minute later I heard a crunch sound. “Are you eating your toenail?” I asked. He looked embarrassed when he said, “Yes, it’s a nervous habit of mine.”
—Bethany
Aftermath: We are actually still living together, but not for much longer.
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chemistry
It was over when she told me she loved the smell of Axe Body Spray.
—G
Aftermath: Two weeks later, she cheated on me.