She gave me blue balls as a Valentine’s gift.

— Andrew

Aftermath: Still blue

I went to her place for dinner. After listening to her trash her own ethnic group, another girl walked in dressed to kill. Was this going to be a double date ? No. I soon realized they were fighting because they had a date with each other.

— fastfreddie

Aftermath: Not knowing if she liked herself was enough but not knowing which sex she liked was too much.

One day I was working on a sweet new bass line. I asked her if she wanted to check out my sweet new bass line. She told me my music would take me nowhere.

— Dustin

Aftermath: I told her to leave my house immediately. I’m living the dream. She still works at the movie theater.

My ex picked up a new hobby. Masturbation. Chronic masturbation. To top it off he would make his “deposit” in black T-shirts and leave them around the house.

— Becky

Aftermath: Divorce and a huge child support payment to me. Now the “deposit” is in my bank account.

His ex-girlfriend called while we were in bed. He spoke to her for a good 30 minutes. After he hung up he said “I don’t think I’ll ever get over her” and asked me to hold him as he cried.

— Katie

Aftermath: I told him to leave and forced him out the door….naked. Must have been an awesome drive home. I know he needed to stop for gas.