secrets!
When I learned he cheated on me, it was the best news I could have had in that moment. It opened my eyes and let me see that I deserved waaay better than a cheater and I shouldn’t be crying for a guy who didn’t even have the guts to tell me to my face that it was over before he started dating another woman.
—Paula
Aftermath: Now we aren’t friends, not even enemies, I’m just so over him. I’m engaged to the best man in the world, getting married in three weeks, happier than ever and more in love than ever.
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best of manners
He introduced me to his best friends, one was a guy and one was a girl. I knew it was over when we were all out to eat and he was hardcore flirting with his best girlfriend and she fed him strawberries at the table. Right in front of me.
—Oh No She Didn’t
Aftermath: He ignored me in public for the next two days and after instigating a conversation, he wrote via text message, “It’s not you it’s me” and “I hope we can still be friends.” We aren’t on speaking terms anymore.
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best of clashes
We were fighting one day and he drew me a graph on his whiteboard of hours spent together vs. utility derived from the relationship. He argued that us going on nice dates is just as good as him sitting on my couch playing video games for eight hours. Not only did he graph our relationship, he completely missed the concept of diminishing marginal utility. Good job, econ major.
—Peaches
Aftermath: We broke up the next morning, and were on and off for a few more months. Maybe his social sciences improved with the next girl.
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best of clashes
He thought that dinosaurs were a conspiracy theory.
—Noel
Aftermath: I pretended I didn’t hear.
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best of quirks
We went through the drive thru window at fast food place and he ordered a fish sandwich and pronounced it the “fill-ett o’ fish.” He wasn’t joking and I knew he was just too stupid to continue the relationship.
—Alexa
Aftermath: I broke up with him a couple weeks later and it only lasted that long because the sex was good.