One night on the phone she started telling me about all her little “quirks.” It was so boring I stopped listening. I tuned back in to her monologue just in time to hear her say that she likes to eat baby food. Ugh! You heard right, baby food. As in little jars. As in Gerber….

—Spike

Aftermath: She eventually stopped calling me.

After a month of dating we were about to go at it and I ask him if he had a condom. He looked in to my eyes and said, “No… but I get tested all the time.” I told him I couldn’t, he said that if I was worried about getting pregnant we could always go to the nearest clinic and get it taken care of…

— Iris

Aftermath: We laughed it off that night but it all came to a screeching halt when I logged on to Facebook and at the very top of the news feed it said he was in a relationship…

Two years after deciding to stop working and go back to school, she announced that she was quitting school, but “didn’t really want to work full-time,” either. She then began berating me for working seven days a week to support her, her kids and her live-in mother. Then she cheated on me with a guy who worked at the goddamn post office.

—Dave

Aftermath: I kicked her to the curb, then laughed in her face a year later when she asked for a second chance.

On our first date. I kept getting a “creepy uncle” vibe from him. He was a few years older than I was, and spent most of the night telling me about how he had lost his wife and child to a drunk driver a few years earlier. When he dropped me off, he spent several minutes trying to talk himself into my house. I refused to let him in and lost his number.

—esnymos

Aftermath: I learned from a mutual friend that his wife and child were alive and well, living 2 states over while he finished off his degree.

In a two-year relationship and I was Christmas shopping with her 11-year-old daughter. We came home early and caught her mother (my girlfriend) fellating a mutual friend. She took him out of her mouth and while still holding it said, “This isn’t what it looks like.” I told her I was taking her daughter to her mother’s house and left.

—jp

Aftermath: Never spoke again. Her mother was horrified, as I had done CPR on her dad and saved his life a few weeks earlier. The child was mortified and still calls me 5 years later.