secrets

 

“Maid of (dis)honor”

best of secrets!

Six months before the wedding, I finally discovered why my fiance wouldn’t let me in the room when he was on the computer. He was having an online affair with my best friend (and my maid of honor) who was overseas at the time. I was the last one to know, as apparently it had been going on for almost a year.

—Sarah

Aftermath: I may have made a few death threats at the time that resulted in her sprinting in the other direction when we ran into each other on the street. They ended up getting married, and he cheats on her now. I am so relieved that I didn’t end up with someone so insecure that he needs to sleep around to feel like a big man.

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“Overly Fertile”

best of secrets!

His wife called to inform me that I could have him (even though I had no idea he had a wife) and his 5 children! She was pregnant with number 6.

—Shay

Aftermath: I told the wife to keep that overly fertile man and ignored his many phone calls (from his friends phones) and messages.


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“Who’s at the Door?”

best of secrets!

His new-to-me fiancée answered the door when I went to visit him, holding their 6-month-old baby!

—shay

Aftermath: I congratulated the blushing bride on her awesome pick of a husband-to-be.


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“Four Years to Make a Man”

best of secrets!

Year one: We diet and go to the gym together.
Year two: He gets plastic surgery from all the weight he lost from year one.
Year three: He is happier and I push him for a new job, while I start house hunting.
Year four: I buy him a laptop for X-mas and put the down payment on his new car.
Year five: My skinny, good looking boyfriend uses his laptop to find a new girlfriend that he impresses with his new car and three-flat financial investment.

—Monika

Aftermath: I am living with a new boyfriend that I don’t have to buy a thing for and I am the happiest I have been in five years. Lesson learned.


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“Identity Theft”

best of secrets!

I’d been dating David for about 6 months and we were about to embark on a 3-week vacation with our dogs. A couple days prior to departure, his brother—DAVID—calls me. Turns out, while he was overseas on a work assignment, his brother (the David I was dating) was “house sitting.” Basically, everything I knew was really part of the overseas brother’s life and identity.

—Sharon

Aftermath: The real David had the fake David committed to the local mental hospital upon returning home. He only found out about me from one of his neighbors, which led him to search for my number and call. The three of us had one visit together the night before vacation. Next day, I went on to Montana by myself with my dog and was totally over this chapter after an hour on the road.

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