My quarterly savings account statement arrived, $800 light. I’d put his name on it for a just in case emergency (like my death). When asked about the withdrawal, his response was, “I was going to put it back before you found out.”

—Trusted Gut

Aftermath: Three months later, I threw him out.

While she encouraged me to spend more time on travel, she was carrying on an affair with her boss. When I found out she blamed me for not being around enough. She never even said she was sorry.

—Phil

Aftermath: Still married, when my daughter goes to college, I go out the door.

My husband and I were having sex on the couch, me straddling him. His small dick slipped out of me and went in between our bellies. He didn’t notice and kept thrusting. He finished about a minute later.

–Lauren

Aftermath: I stayed married to him for 3 more years trying to make it work. Turned out he had been gay since he was a teenager. I was his beard.

It was over when I found out that she was bipolar, had somehow kept this from me for almost 2 years, and had decided she didn’t need medication.

—Mickey

Aftermath: Three days.

We had been together for about 6 months. I lived in San Diego to attend college, and he lived in Orange County. For his birthday, we were supposed to go to Disneyland. I skipped school to drive to see him the day before with a rum cake decorated like a PBR can (we partied a lot). When I called to tell him about the surprise, he said he was tired and I should stay at my parents house that night.

—devilniss

Aftermath: I showed up anyways. He was having a party with all our mutual friends and his ex-girlfriend who I knew he still had feelings for. I should have thrown the cake in his face.