I heard him flush the toilet, then he came running (like a little girl) out of the bathroom with this look of fear, shock, horror on his face. The toilet overflowed… He was too scared to plunge the toilet, so I did. He was 40! Really? He was so icked out that he icked me out.

— Andie

Aftermath: We did eventually marry. Divorced now. I should have known then he was full of s***.

I was eating almonds from a can and asked if he wanted any. He took the can and counted out the correct portion as stated on the nutritional information—then only ate those almonds.

—Teagan

Aftermath: We stopped seeing each other about a week later.

I asked my new boyfriend how he got so good at computers. He replied, “Well, I was addicted to porn for a while.”

—Jen

Aftermath: Have not talked since.

I walked downstairs and found him showing the “GOAT” to his other friend. Both laughing their asses off.

—M

Aftermath: Ew.

One night on the phone she started telling me about all her little “quirks.” It was so boring I stopped listening. I tuned back in to her monologue just in time to hear her say that she likes to eat baby food. Ugh! You heard right, baby food. As in little jars. As in Gerber….

—Spike

Aftermath: She eventually stopped calling me.