He gave me a full-body massage, me naked, him naked. I gave him massage; I jumped onto his back, naked. He told me he didn’t want to lose his temple recommend. WTF?

—Is it just me?

Aftermath: I told him that we should just be friends – just not the kind that ever talk or see each other.

Some of my friends were throwing a party in a nearby city, so I asked him to come with me. He spent the entire weekend at my heel, to the point of waiting outside the bathroom door when I was using the facilities. By the end of day 2, I was jumping at any chance to leave. Every time I came back, he was sitting right by the door, waiting.

—Homegrown

Aftermath: Because I was oh-so-mature at 19, I stopped answering his calls as soon as we got back to town. A couple months later, I moved across town and threatened my friends under pain of death not to give him my new address.

After many months of unsatisyfying, infrequent sex because he had almost zero sex drive, I found him masturbating while having cyber sex with another character on World of Warcraft. This was after almost 3 months of no sex because he “wasn’t interested”.

—Amethyst

Aftermath: Meet another man who’s now my husband that doesn’t trade real women for pixellated ones (that are probably played by men anyway).

You couldn’t see his bedroom floor because of all the clothes. He left all his mail on the floor underneath the mail slot. He told me I should *want* to clean his disgusting apartment for him in order to make up for all the money he spent on me. He was 33. With the mentality of a 13 year old.

—Rae

Aftermath: Somehow I stayed with him another month. He’s still trying to string me along.

He was a slightly nerdy guy, but it was cute–until one day when we were about to take an exam and I had borrowed this really complicated graphing calculator from my teacher. When I asked him to help me figure it out, he started jumping for joy, exclaiming that it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever beheld…

—Sheila

Aftermath: It lasted a few days, though he didn’t seem too upset with me- just upset that he didn’t own a calculator like that…