She turns to me after we finish having sex and said, “You don’t have a smell, and having a guy smell is very important to me.”

—Steve-o

Aftermath: I laughed and said I could either fart more or shower. To this day have no freaking clue what she was talking about. We kept hooking up until she starting seeing another guy, who I assume had whatever smell she was looking for.

After only two days of chatting on Facebook, he told me “Rawr! It means ‘I love you’ in dinosaur,”and he was serious.

—KutcherGirl

Aftermath: None.

She said, “Sometimes when I speak English too much, I get a headache.” I know one language…English.

—Lolo

Aftermath: First and final date.

He was living rent-free with his mother and was always broke. I chalked it up to his bad employment luck and confusion over what to do with his life. I should have known when he’d work a 4-hour shift and complain for an hour, then snap at me if I tried to commiserate over my 8-hour shift. It wasn’t until he came into a few thousand bucks and had to bum money for bus fare 3 months later. He then complained about spending money on my birthday.

—Red

Aftermath: I got sick of carting his a** around, and 6 months later, he started getting violent. I married a wonderful man he introduced me to.

It was over when she told me that she was jealous of the relationship I had with my identical twin and that my twin was no longer welcome in our home.

—C-Bean

Aftermath: I walked out with my twin and said, “Well, my relationship is ending tonight.” About two hours later, it was over, though her drama dragged on for 4 more months!