He left his Hotmail account open. Naturally, I took it upon myself to check it out. I read an email that simply stated, “Yo bro, Let me know next time you need your hot c**k drained.” I have nothing against homosexuality, unless the man I’m dating is trying to hide it from me. And I’m a lady.

—NatahleyBee

Attempted: He attempted to come up with an alibi. We are now broken up and I’m convinced he’s getting anonymous BJs from Craigslist.

My boyfriend said, “I think clown makeup is really sexy.” Shortly thereafter, he whispered in my ear “Seriously, babe, it’s a major turn on.” He wasn’t joking.

—Chelsea

Aftermath: I broke up with him that night. For the 4 months that we dated, I always thought he said and did really weird things to be goofy. He was definitely serious about all of it.

I frequented a local watering hole where this lovely, petite bar maiden worked. I was smitten with her. After a few weeks of wearing her down, I finally got her to agree to a date. I made her dinner and we watched a movie. She ended up spending the night. She woke me up at 3 a.m. to ask me why I had let all the people in the room. There were no people in the room.

—Spally

Aftermath: She spent the next two days on my front porch. I ducked out the back of my house and went to stay with friends until I could get a friend of hers to come and convince her to leave.

After a good night of drinking, he woke me up in the middle of the night leaning on me because he was too drunk and/or lazy to go to the actual bathroom. He just sat up in bed and started peeing off the side of the bed!

—Kristen

Aftermath: I think we may have had another encounter or two, but I just couldn’t get over how obliterated drunk he got.

I came home a couple of days early from a trip and caught him masturbating while sniffing my underwear.

—Christine

Aftermath: I stayed at a friend’s house that night and started apartment shopping first thing in the morning. I let him keep

the thong as I won’t be needing it again.