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“I La La…I’d LOVE a Miller Lite!”

clashes

We ended up at my place in bed. In the heat of passion, she looks into my eyes and proclaims “I love you.” All I could do was laugh. She jumped off me, grabbed her clothes and stormed out the door half dressed.

— Pete

Aftermath: Never saw her again. When I see the new Miller Lite commercials, where the guy can’t force out “and I love you,” I think of her!

This post was submitted by Pete.


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“Anyone know a plumber?”

quirks

I heard him flush the toilet, then he came running (like a little girl) out of the bathroom with this look of fear, shock, horror on his face. The toilet overflowed… He was too scared to plunge the toilet, so I did. He was 40! Really? He was so icked out that he icked me out.

— Andie

Aftermath: We did eventually marry. Divorced now. I should have known then he was full of s***.

This post was submitted by Andie.


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“Jail Bait”

best of weird

I was 20 years old and dating a high school teacher in his early thirties. I jokingly remarked one morning that I was not much older than some of his students to which he replied, “I’m living vicariously through you because I can’t lay a hand on any of them.”

— Em

Aftermath: I bolted and never contacted him again.

This post was submitted by Em.


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“Star Man”

chemistry

We were at the beach and he pointed at the stars and said “that’s the Big Dipper.” When I looked it was Orion’s Belt.

— W

Aftermath: Told him I was dating someone else.

This post was submitted by W.

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“She just wasn’t ready”

chemistry

We had been dating a month and (still) hadn’t kissed. I thought the time was right so I went for it. She refused, saying we were taking it “too fast” then tried to hookup with my best friend as I was walking down the street.

— Funky Dank

Aftermath: I ended it soon after, and still hold resentment to this day…

This post was submitted by Funky Dank.


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