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“WINNER! SportsCenter Cover”

best of secrets!

After turning me down for a night of intimacy (yet again!), he said he wanted to stay up and watch SportsCenter on ESPN. I went to bed, but had a hard time sleeping because of the volume. I went to ask him to turn it down, but he was not in the living room. I found him in the office, jerking off to porn.

—Michelle

Aftermath: Turns out he has an addiction to porn—not so much interested in the real thing. This was handy to find out after being married to him. This, among, many other things led to our divorce.

This post was submitted by Michelle J..

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“Proper English”

best of

I got an IM that read: “i want to take a nap with you lol not in a lovey dovey way lmao.”

I prefer to be wooed in Standard English, with bonus points for AP or Chicago Style.

—anem0ne

Aftermath: I stopped responding to his messages, and explained that it was because we weren’t compatible.

This post was submitted by anem0ne.

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“WINNER! Hush”

best of sex

While in bed, I complimented one of his (only successful) sexual moves. He told me I was “ruining his concentration.” He shushed me during sex!

—Jen

Aftermath: It was over before he was finished!

This post was submitted by Jen.


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“Darts”

best of secrets!

After dating for nine months, he randomly started ignoring me, and finally decided to make it official with a phone call — well, sort of. “You may have figured out I’m with your friend now…don’t throw darts at her picture.” No, I reserved all my darts for your picture, thanks.

—Laeci

Aftermath: A year later, we were friends again. The girl, on the other hand, tried to date all my boyfriends until she moved to a different state!

This post was submitted by Laeci.


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“Way to Sell Yourself”

best of clashes

We had been dating long distance for a couple months when he called to tell me he had just slapped the crap out of some random woman who disagreed with something he had said. He was quite excited about it too. In a word? WOW.

—Taylor

Aftermath: I stopped answering his calls. He kept calling for 6 months using different phone numbers. Dodged a bullet there.

This post was submitted by Taylor.


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