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“Bastards”

sex

After our first long and steamy sex session, she turns to me and starts crying, “I’m so happy I met you!” She continues: “All my former boyfriends have been bastards. The last one was married and gave me Chlamydia!”

—PBR

Aftermath: That’s where I knew it was doomed. I liked her honesty so I kept seeing her for a little while longer. Then she ended it. I was sad but also a bit relieved.

This post was submitted by PBR.

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“XXX-Mas Shopping”

best of secrets! sex

In a two-year relationship and I was Christmas shopping with her 11-year-old daughter. We came home early and caught her mother (my girlfriend) fellating a mutual friend. She took him out of her mouth and while still holding it said, “This isn’t what it looks like.” I told her I was taking her daughter to her mother’s house and left.

—jp

Aftermath: Never spoke again. Her mother was horrified, as I had done CPR on her dad and saved his life a few weeks earlier. The child was mortified and still calls me 5 years later.

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“Inexperienced”

best of chemistry

It somehow came up in discussion, and apparently I’ve kissed more girls than he has. And I’ve never even been into girls. I think he needs more dating experience before getting serious with me.

—Jen

Aftermath: I’m procrastinating ending things. Maybe a break, or a breakup. I swear I’ve tried, but he’s so cute…

This post was submitted by jen.

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“Door number 1 or 2?”

sex

I was dating two girls very casually in two cities and I had sex with both of them several times in 2 weeks.
It was a no-strings-enjoy-yourself-kinda-thing between both of them, they never found out about each other.
Then I got an STD and I couldn’t figure out which one of them did it and I had to tell both of them.
It’s too bad, the redhead was amazing in bed.

—None

Aftermath: I still don’t know which one of them had it first.

This post was submitted by none.

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“If I Wanted To”

best of sex

I went out to dinner with my boyfriend, his sister and her boyfriend. On the way home, she asked me if I wanted to have sex with her and her boyfriend. I said, “No,” politely. When I told my boyfriend, he said I should do it if I wanted to.

—Anonymous

Aftermath: I broke up with him four days later in a “Dear John” letter. I could never face him without feeling like I needed a shower.

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