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“Lake Superior”

best of weird

I once met a girl at a bar. Actually it was an open bar. Dangerous stuff. We went back to her apartment. The next morning the bed was covered with pee. Every square inch soaked. Even the pillows were wet. It was either her, or me, or her fat angry cat.  I suspect the cat. We didn’t talk about the elephant in the room, or the Lake Superior on her bed.

—Jack Diamond

Aftermath: There was no second “date.”

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“Tea Bag”

best of weird

I got up to go get a glass of water and came back into my bedroom to find my boyfriend on his knees proceeding to tea bag my sleeping friend.

Holly

Aftermath: Needless to say, I told him to zip up his pants and leave.


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“(Not so) Sizzler”

best of manners

On our first date, I let her decide where she wanted to eat dinner. She picked Sizzler because she wanted some “good steak.” While there she asked the waiter for a job application and proceeds to fill it out at the table during our date.

—Jeremy

Aftermath: We still spent the night together, because…well, I’m a guy. But I never talked to her again after that. The whole thing was odd.

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“Birthday Double Whammy”

best of weird

I’d been in the relationship for a few months and it was going nowhere. I invited here out to dinner so I could call it off in a public place. She took it harder than expected; I’d forgotten it was her birthday.

—Jon

Aftermath: We got back together months later, and when I knew it was over, again, I waited an extra two weeks so I could break up on her birthday again.

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“Miss Edjumacated”

best of clashes

We were hanging out, and trying to make small talk I asked her who she voted for. She said nobody but it “definitely wouldn’t have been Obama because isn’t he a Muslim or something?”

—Justin

Aftermath: We hung out a couple more times but it ended after we shared a painfully awkward kiss and she told everyone we were dating. We weren’t.

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