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“For the dog”

clashes

We were engaged for six months when she got accepted to grad school out of the country. We had been living together for awhile, and I didn’t want to move back into the dormitory. I thought we should elope so that I could keep my dog and the apartment we had at the time. Her dream has been more important than me for five years now.

—Schitstick

Aftermath: Married as far as the paperwork goes, however my new significant other is the greatest thing that’s ever happened to me and she is willing to give up everything to be with me…. Divorce is near and possibly a new life with someone else

This post was submitted by Schitstick.

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“Once…ok…twice?”

best of sex

During sex, she called me by the wrong name. Worse, it was her roommate’s name. Then she did it again. Also, her roommate was gay.

—John

Aftermath: That was about it for me.

This post was submitted by John.

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“One date and a funeral”

manners

The day my grandmother died, I had a second date planned with someone. Upset, I called him to cancel, and he kindly offered to drive me to the airport. As we approached the terminal, I saw my brother and sister-in-law getting out of a cab. Next thing I know, he pulls up next to them and, jumping out of the car, says to me, “Oh, good. Introduce me to your brother.”

—Sad Granddaughter

Aftermath: My reply: “Um, I don’t think this is a good time; his grandmother just died, too…” Seriously, who tries to meet the family after one date, and before a funeral? This was over before I got on the plane.

This post was submitted by Sad Granddaughter.

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“The Other Girl”

best of sex

In high school, I kept hooking up with an ex after he dumped me for a new girl who easily had 20 pounds on me. I hated her, so I didn’t care that I was the other girl. This continued through part of college, until they broke up. He still wanted to hook up, even though he had another new girlfriend. I realized that I’d only been sleeping with him out of spite for all those years.

–The Other One No More

Aftermath: I never hooked up with him again. He is still with his new girlfriend, and has probably cheated on her too. I have met someone who is so much better for me and to me, and will never be the other girl again.

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“Sideshow”

best of weird

My first shot at online dating was with a guy who was a sideshow performer. Despite the odd job, he was cute and polite. Then during our date he proceeded to speak in different accents, tell me about his frequent visits to “massage parlors,” and constantly pat his face with a hanky from his pocket. He also talked nonstop, especially about his failed 4-year relationship. I ignored the negative signs and invited him to a party a week later where he made joking references to me being a dog and told me to eat the dog’s food.

–Ty

Aftermath: We lived an hour apart so I didn’t have to feel obligated to see him again. I eventually began ignoring his calls. Suffice to say, I’m done with online dating.


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