We had unsatisfying sex a few weeks in, and while snuggling afterward, he told me that he was a Scotsman, and Scottish men were better than Englishmen, because Englishmen kick their women out of bed after sex. He droned on a bit about how awesome he was because he was Scottish. I told him I was Polish and didn’t care.

—Jennifer

Aftermath: One more date after that. I gave him another chance in the sex department, and in the middle of it, he said “I’m falling in love with you.” By the way, he still lived with his mother.

3

Things got hot and heavy after a bottle of wine, some pizza, and a couple hours of talking. We ended out in my room, on my bed. We were making out and clothing was being removed and…he licked my face.

—BaltOhNo

Aftermath: He attempted to call me probably four times before he finally gave up. If I wanted a St. Bernard I’d have gone to the pound, not the personals.

12

I went to hang out at her house for the first time and was forced to sit and listen to ABBA’s “Dancing Queen” on repeat for nearly an hour straight.

—Andrew

Aftermath: Needless to say, it ended the second I left her house.

8

How did I know it was over? When he FaceBook’d someone else, talking about the kisses they had shared.

—Maria

Aftermath: I’m contemplating on how I’m gonna break it to him as I type.

12

I was engaged to a man who lived in a different state. He called me every night when he got home from work. One night, it was getting very late and he hadn’t yet called, nor was he answering his phone. Around 2 a.m., he finally answered and sounded very odd. He kept trying to get off the phone, but I demanded to know what was up. Finally, his breathing quickened and became erratic and he stopped talking to me. I knew he had another woman there and she was…well you can imagine.

—Bullet Dodger

Aftermath: He confirmed my suspicions the following morning & begged me to forgive him. I dumped him immediately & now couldn’t be happier he cheated on me. It saved me from marrying a philandering creep.

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