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“Art Critic”

manners

I sent him some of my artwork and it took him about three seconds before he started criticizing it. I finally got him to just tell me that it all sucked. From that point on, I gave up on art—even though he kept pressuring me to do collaborations with him.

—Heather

Aftermath: That is, until I broke up with him eleven months later. Now I draw all day, and have fun with it. Without him.

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“Mustang Misses”

best of secrets!

I was showing off my brand new Mustang, she asked for the keys. I could hear the engine rev down the street and then stop. The dog and I took a walk, and found the car—my girlfriend was on the hood with her neighbor’s hand very far up her skirt.

—Bob

Aftermath: I drove home five hours devastated. We got back together a month later; she did it again. That was the final end.

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“Dubya”

chemistry

I knew it was over when he admitted that he voted for George Dubya both times. He tried to justify his reasoning, but I don’t date Republicans.

—Vivian

Aftermath: I stuck around for one more make-out session then called it quits.

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“Chicken Dinner”

best of manners

I knew it was over when he called me up and told me to bring him chicken dinner and to also bring over some lotion so that I can give him a foot rub and a handjob! I only knew him for a week!!
—Jenny

Aftermath: After that, I got off the phone with him and I changed my number. I only saw him once after that. He tried to flag me down and I floored it.

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“Couldn’t Stand”

chemistry

I knew it was over when I couldn’t stand talking to him on the phone or having him over after 3 days of “going steady.”

—Joan

Aftermath: We dated for 2 months after that.

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