We decided to try 69. She didn’t tell me Mexican food gave her diaherrea. Before she could get off, the bottom fell out, all over me.

— LeRoy

Aftermath: Adios!

She had a tendency to turn into the world’s most overly sympathetic, somewhat embarrassing LGBT advocate when drunk, to the point of making one wonder whether or not she used to have a penis herself.

— No room

Aftermath: Never found out for sure.

She had a framed picture of her and her mother both dressed in full clown outfits (orange hair, red nose, makeup, etc) sitting on her kitchen counter. It freaked me out.

— Chris

Aftermath: I said good-bye.

She got drunk and slapped me in the face because I was putting her beer in the fridge.

— Michael

Aftermath: I still don’t know what she was upset about.

He made me change my Facebook profile pic because the one I had up wasn’t hot enough and he wanted his friends to see how hot I was.

— NotaDoormat

Aftermath: Decided I couldn’t take any more crap.