One day he asked me to have sex with him in a back room of a goth club while others were watching. No thank you. It put a damper on the evening and in his drunken, angry, disappointed rage he started telling me how conservative I was, that I wasn’t who he thought I was…. and that I might as well have been a Republican and voted for Bush!

— Melanie

Aftermath: We broke up. Calling me a Republican was about all I could stand.

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“I La La…I’d LOVE a Miller Lite!”


We ended up at my place in bed. In the heat of passion, she looks into my eyes and proclaims “I love you.” All I could do was laugh. She jumped off me, grabbed her clothes and stormed out the door half dressed.

— Pete

Aftermath: Never saw her again. When I see the new Miller Lite commercials, where the guy can’t force out “and I love you,” I think of her!

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“Anyone know a plumber?”


I heard him flush the toilet, then he came running (like a little girl) out of the bathroom with this look of fear, shock, horror on his face. The toilet overflowed… He was too scared to plunge the toilet, so I did. He was 40! Really? He was so icked out that he icked me out.

— Andie

Aftermath: We did eventually marry. Divorced now. I should have known then he was full of s***.

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“Jail Bait”

best of weird

I was 20 years old and dating a high school teacher in his early thirties. I jokingly remarked one morning that I was not much older than some of his students to which he replied, “I’m living vicariously through you because I can’t lay a hand on any of them.”

— Em

Aftermath: I bolted and never contacted him again.

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“Star Man”


We were at the beach and he pointed at the stars and said “that’s the Big Dipper.” When I looked it was Orion’s Belt.

— W

Aftermath: Told him I was dating someone else.

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