She started praying after we were done having sex. She said Jesus told her what we were doing was wrong.

— RJ

Aftermath: I broke it off the next day.

We decided to try 69. She didn’t tell me Mexican food gave her diaherrea. Before she could get off, the bottom fell out, all over me.

— LeRoy

Aftermath: Adios!

She gave me blue balls as a Valentine’s gift.

— Andrew

Aftermath: Still blue

In the middle of getting busy with my boyfriend someone knocked on my front door. I said “ignore it baby,” he said “hold on,” goes to check… it’s his brother. He leaves to go smoke pot with his brother, decides to come back over two hours later and wondered why I wasn’t in the mood any more… hmm sorry sweetie I went ahead and finished without you.

— Sarah

Aftermath: I dumped him that week. Moral of the story, I always knew not to “dip the pen in company ink,” but have amended it to include neighbors too.

I thought he was too feminine so I asked around about his sexuality; my friends assured me he was straight. Finally we had HORRIBLE HORRIBLE SEX – Couldn’t Keep It Up!

Left the next morning & never heard from him again.

— Sandy

Aftermath: In hindsight I should have seen if he was interested in my butt hole.