I realized that she had only one setting: sarcastic. No seriousness, no deeper emotions, no ability to hold a decent conversation. Every response from her was some sort of joke, but it got to be too much.

—Scott

Aftermath: I put up with it for about a month. I love a little sarcasm, but there is a point where it goes from a funny little quirk to downright annoying. I realized this relationship would never get past its first stages and broke it off. Haven’t seen her since.

It was over when I gave her a Kon stuffed toy, from the Japanese anime series “Bleach.”

—etivacenyo

Aftermath: She kept it and now were just friends.

Our second date was dinner and live music at a popular sports pub. I’m kind of silly, and when I made him laugh with a crazy story, I noticed his black teeth!

—Joy

Aftermath: Nice guy turned Cavity Creep. Deal broken.

His eyes rolled back into his head if he experienced something pleasurable. I could get him to do it by scratching the top of his head. At one point, after he had been acting distant for a few weeks, I started scratching his head and his eyes rolled back for a few seconds before they snapped back into place—he looked at me and asked abruptly, “What are you doing?” All I could do was let my hand drop and respond, “Nothing.”

—Leah

Aftermath: I think we had our “spending some time apart” talk the next morning and officially broke up a few weeks later.

He had dilapidated purple loofah gloves hanging in his shower. When I asked him if they belonged to his daughter, he said, “No, they’re mine. I have to keep my skin smooth.” The end.

—Angus La Rue

Aftermath: I broke up with him on the spot and cried my eyes out all the way home.