best of manners

When he told me he liked my mom’s cake better than mine. Never mind that I baked it for his birthday and decorated it. He ate one slice and wanted to throw the rest away. The cake was fine—my family ate the other half and loved it.


Aftermath: I stayed with him (like an idiot) for a few more months. It took 4 times of me telling him it was over for him to get it. Then he ruined a friend’s wedding by pouting in a corner.

This post was submitted by Lacy.


“Bright Red”

best of manners

We were dating and he excused himself to go to the bathroom, came back, started kissing me, and the distinct smell of sh*t was in the air. I asked him if he’d washed his hands, he turned bright red, and embarrassingly walked away to wash them. After he has groped me and kissed my face.


Aftermath: 3 1/2 years later, many skid marks, and smelly rooms later…and we’re still married. I’m filing for divorce next month.

This post was submitted by KRod.


“Wasn’t Worth It”


Four months in, he asked if he could stay with me while working in my town. Two months stretched into six, then he said he had another job coming up and wanted to continue living with me. He had just settled out of court for custody of his kid, so I knew he was no longer saving money for a lawyer. I asked him to contribute 1/3 of the rent in my new apartment. He told me it “wasn’t worth it” to him to pay $350/month to stay.


Aftermath: I said it “wasn’t worth it” to me to date a freeloader and kicked him out. Two days later, he got back with the ex even though he had spent a year talking about how much he hated her. I guess the free rent at her mom’s house is “worth it.”

This post was submitted by RC.

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“One date and a funeral”


The day my grandmother died, I had a second date planned with someone. Upset, I called him to cancel, and he kindly offered to drive me to the airport. As we approached the terminal, I saw my brother and sister-in-law getting out of a cab. Next thing I know, he pulls up next to them and, jumping out of the car, says to me, “Oh, good. Introduce me to your brother.”

—Sad Granddaughter

Aftermath: My reply: “Um, I don’t think this is a good time; his grandmother just died, too…” Seriously, who tries to meet the family after one date, and before a funeral? This was over before I got on the plane.

This post was submitted by Sad Granddaughter.


“Mr. Poopypants”


About 4 dates into it, he told a “funny” anecdote about having a good run at a blackjack table and not wanting to get up. Thinking he only had to fart, he let it slip, but something else came out. Not such a good run after all.

What bothered me most was that he told the story like it happened all the time and it wasn’t a big deal. From that point on, my friends and I all called him “Mr. Poopypants.”

Aftermath: I stopped returning phone calls. I bumped into him years later at a bar. After a couple beers and chatting, he asked why I stopped calling. I relayed the story. He assured me it was the only time it ever happened. I still didn’t date him.

This post was submitted by Anthony.