clashes

 

“By Myself”

best of clashes

The morning after completing a 2,500 mile trip to see my father, who had been diagnosed with cancer and given 6 months to live, she told me we needed to talk. She said she thought she could do better by herself. I married her after she got pregnant overseas in the military. I asked her if she thought of it all on her own. No, she said, the people at work helped her figure it out.

—jp

Aftermath: I left, right then to take care of dad. And, 26 yrs later she still blames me for everything that went wrong in her life (plenty). She is as big as a house and mean as a snake now.  I have peace and serenity.


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“Guns vs girls”

best of clashes

Birds were chirping outside my window and she complained about the birds. I pulled out a pellet gun, and she flipped out. She said, “For future reference, it’s always a bad idea to pull out a gun when you have a girl in your bed.”

—rs

Aftermath: She left and never saw me again.

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“Temper Tantrum”

clashes

He had a temper tantrum when I wouldn’t let him get a flat screen TV. He actually said “Well fine, from now on I’m just going to say no to everything you want.” Then he refused to speak with me for the rest of the day.

—Dawn

Aftermath: I want a divorce, but I don’t know how to go about getting started.

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“No Coffee”

clashes

I knew it was over the day he stood in the kitchen yelling at me because we were out of coffee.

—Much Happier Now

Aftermath: I’ve been divorced from him now for 8 years.

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“Getting Even”

best of clashes

My wife of 20 years cheated the 1st time with her boss & the 2nd time with our Roman Catholic priest. She cried & begged me to stay. I did & watched her spend all her savings to nice me up while I saved every cent. Now she is broke & brokenhearted and can’t pay next months rent. She will be evicted. I’m leaving this weekend fully satisfied and vindicated.

—Louis

Aftermath: I won’t even say good-bye. She’ll have to figure it out.

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