While watching a movie where a man killed his wife for cheating, he turned to me and very seriously said “I’d do that to you if I ever caught you cheating.”

— RachelDLW

Aftermath: Broke up with him. For a while he would park in my driveway for hours at a time.

A woman I was dating told me that she moved to our state because they can’t garnish her wages for child support for her 3 children that she left with her ex-husband and hadn’t contacted in 2 years.

— Randy

Aftermath: I never called her again.

Ten minutes into sex she says, “Why haven’t you cum yet?” I said, “Because I don’t want to yet.” She shouted, “YOU MEAN YOU’RE DOING IT ON PURPOSE! I’m not the kind of woman who likes being here all night.”

— Smooth

Aftermath: We broke up. It wasn’t worth taking my clothes off for two minutes.

She said “If you go to sleep tonite you will not wake up tomorrow.”

— justme

Aftermath: Slept in my truck and got a divorce.

We decided to try 69. She didn’t tell me Mexican food gave her diaherrea. Before she could get off, the bottom fell out, all over me.

— LeRoy

Aftermath: Adios!