“A Laundry List”

best of clashes

My mom caught me administering a hummer. He canceled as prom date the day before, had to work, I saw him drive by with another girl that night. Never met his family. Knew he liked guys too. I moved to another state. I finally had sex with him. He went to jail, wrote me, I had sex with him when he got out; my boyfriend of five years broke up with me because of that. Found out he was also banging my best friend… and was married.


Aftermath: The entire relationship took ten years of on-and-off to end. I finally said that I would run him over with my car if I ever ever saw him again. I haven’t seen him since.

This post was submitted by Laura.

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I only knew the guy for a week and half, when finally he asked if he could come to my place to see me. We were sitting on the couch watching TV (with family upstairs) when he all of the sudden pulled his “junk” out of his pants. In shock, I asked what the hell he was doing? His response: “Well, don’t you want to suck on it?”


Aftermath: I kicked him out of my house immediately. He would call and text everyday after that, not even knowing he did anything wrong. I haven’t spoken to him since.

This post was submitted by Mandy.

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“Ass Tufts”

best of chemistry

He liked naked time and got mirrored closet doors. I saw him bend over repeatedly while changing the sheets on the bed. OMFG is he hairy!


Aftermath: I gotta get away from here!

This post was submitted by MissDruid.

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It was over when I found out that she was bipolar, had somehow kept this from me for almost 2 years, and had decided she didn’t need medication.


Aftermath: Three days.

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“Serial Killer”

best of weird

I dated this gal for a month and she told me she would swim to the bottom of the ocean for me. I replied with “But your head would explode.” She said that was fine, if it were for me. Then I asked her if she would still love me if I was a serial killer. She said yes!

Max Armbar

Aftermath: Needless to say, I did not kill multiple people to see if she was telling the truth. I just got the heck out of Dodge.

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