Aftermath: He lost his beard that day. He still can’t understand why I won’t just look past his orientation.
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She took all the money inside our joint account and left me with her flea-infested cat. I hate cats.
Aftermath: I had the cat neutered.
My boyfriend was a self-proclaimed “rapper” and a medical student. He only wrote me one song in our whole relationship. On top of the crappy lyrics of this song, half way through it, he described how he cheated on me. He then posted this song on Facebook.
Aftermath: It was over at that point. He said he hoped we would be friends, that our children could know each other. Why would I want my kids to know someone like that?
After a very dull first date, we went to his house where he pulled out photo albums and started showing me pictures of a camping trip with his ex-girlfriend. Even stranger: I was a total doppelganger for her.
Aftermath: I texted to cancel our next date. He called 9 times, leaving 4 sad messages, the last of which was many minutes long, full of tears & whyyyyy, elizabeth whyyy! I played it on speakerphone for my friends.