We had been dating off and on for a year, and he was moving to a different state. To say good-bye, he showed up at my work with a present: A vibrating pen that made squiggly lines that he stole from his niece. He told me to think of him every time I “used” it… as a sex toy.

—Nicole

Aftermath: Let’s just say it was VERY easy to get over him. And I threw the pen in the trash as soon as he left!

This post was submitted by Nicole.

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Over our year-long relationship, we played video games together all the time, which was fine. The problem came when he canceled our actual in-person dates so we could play online from our respective homes. I realized he liked my video game character more than me.

—Nicole

Aftermath: A month later, he told me he could “never really love me.” I’ve spoken to him maybe three times since then.

This post was submitted by Nicole.

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I hadn’t heard from him in a couple of days so I checked his Facebook page. There I saw that his sister had posted a request to borrow $2,500 for three weeks to get him out of jail. Nobody in their family could help him.

—Susie

Aftermath: If they can’t help him, I am not going to.

This post was submitted by Susie.

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Met cute boy. Had sex with cute boy. A lot of sex. For a full year, had sex with said boy. Didn’t have much of anything outside of the bed play and dirty texts. I knew it was over when he left his current girlfriend of three years for his best (girl) friend from high school…although she left her husband because she has mental problems.

—Nadine

Aftermath: Turns out she really is psychotic and keeps a tight leash on him. They now have a baby girl. Isn’t that sweet?

This post was submitted by Nadine.

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We were coworkers at a dotcom startup in 2000. He liked to namedrop Arthur Andersen and his previous consulting work for them. I asked him out and he said, “Sorry, you’re not Jewish and my mom wouldn’t like it.”

—Shannon

Aftermath: Okee dokee. The Enron scandal breaking afterward was pretty awesome.

This post was submitted by Shannon.

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