“Graduate Assistant”


He spent the night out at a “friend’s house” after ignoring my phone calls all day. He told me that he “didn’t think I’d care” that my live-in boyfriend “got drunk and passed out” at some random girl’s place.


Aftermath: We broke up a month later, got back together, then broke up six months later when he decided he’d rather sleep with his graduate assistant than me.

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“Four weddings”

best of chemistry

We attended four weddings on successive weekends and I felt nothing except a feeling of being trapped and heading toward mediocrity. I really wanted to love her the way she loved me and tried very hard to, but in the end I couldn’t force it on myself.


Aftermath: I had this revelation after a year of dating and almost ended it then, but relented when she began crying. We dated two more years. I broke up with her the week after the last wedding. It was heart-wrenching to hurt someone so bad. I hope to never have to do it again. She met someone else and we are both better off, I think…

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“Dirt Nap”


I came home one night to find him totally smashed & angry about something. In his drunken stupor he told me, “You better be careful, or you’re gonna be taking a dirt nap.”

Alive & Well

Aftermath: I started looking for a place the next day, moved out 2 weeks later and broke it off.

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“Lego Land”


I went over to his house for a chance to spend some romantic time alone. We ended up looking in his basement for his long lost Lego set, and I watched in amazement as he spent over an hour building himself Lego architecture on the floor, smiling like an 8-year-old.


Aftermath: I left his house early that night, and about a week later, I ended it and never looked back.

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Our flirtation and pseudo-relationship was over when he informed me that he fully intended on proposing to his ex-girlfriend.


Aftermath: Whatever we had lasted approximately 10 minutes after he informed me of this over breakfast. He did indeed propose to her, but that was over within 6 months. So glad I’m rid of him.

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