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“Graphing Calculator”

quirks

He was a slightly nerdy guy, but it was cute–until one day when we were about to take an exam and I had borrowed this really complicated graphing calculator from my teacher. When I asked him to help me figure it out, he started jumping for joy, exclaiming that it was the most beautiful thing he’d ever beheld…

Sheila

Aftermath: It lasted a few days, though he didn’t seem too upset with me- just upset that he didn’t own a calculator like that…

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“Till baby do us part”

clashes

I knew it was over when my husband and I were married for 1 month and I told him that I was pregnant. He said, “F***, S***, I wanted to wait for 2 or 3 years.” Also when I told him the sex of the baby, he said that he wanted a boy. What a jerk.

Sicily

Aftermath: We dated for 4 years and we were married for 1 year

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“Frozen Ooze”

weird

We lived in subzero weather and were waiting for the bus (loser – no car). He had picked a zit and the ooze that was coming out of it had frozen into a drooping, mini version of his penis. I knew it was over right then.

Lollie

Aftermath: He beat me to the punch and decided to go back to his old girlfriend shortly after this happened. Good riddance.

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“Sports Bar”

clashes manners

Should have realized it was over when, on my birthday, he took me to a sports bar so we could watch football, knowing full well I despise the sport. It was the only time we ever went out. He would also take me over to our friends’ house at least twice a week to watch the sport.

Emma

Aftermath: Lasted two more months. Still haven’t figured out why I let it go on that long. Now I’m dating his best friend and have found true love.

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“Two-Timing”

manners

We were together for a year or so, then she asked me one day if I would be okay with her dating another guy while being in a relationship with me…

cjd

Aftermath: Two weeks later I told her I was tired of her sh*t and left.

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