I came home and discovered that he had gotten drunk and decided to cut my 20 year old dog’s skin tags off with a kitchen knife and bandage him up with duct tape.

— Lo

Aftermath: The duct tape fell off and I came home the next day to the other dog licking his wounds. That was it for me.

He announced he was still traumatized from being circumcised and he wanted to “grow it back.”

He spent every day with his tiny unit wrapped in surgical tape and popsicle sticks, with a lead weight dangling from it. Then he accused me of not wanting to have sex with him. Um, why would I?? He was lousy in bed anyway, even when he wasn’t wrapped like a mummy.

— Kat

Aftermath: I moved out. He emailed about a year later to tell me his little project was a success, but I told him that wasn’t an appropriate topic between us.

He drove a 1960’s hearse, which I thought was awesome. He called me 4 times a day for 3 weeks, and inevitably he would try to convince me to have sex with him in his hearse.

— Creepy. Just creepy.

Aftermath: He was a virgin, and claimed that’s why his dad bought the vehicle for him.

I knew it was over when I cried. Not because my relationship was failing, I cried because I thought my coworker was going to be fired.

—Nix

Aftermath: I never cried over the breakup. I smiled because I was, and still am, deeply in love.

We went on a lot of dates and always had fun. A month or so later, as we lay in bed after he slept with me for the first time, he asked me if I wanted to see the engagement ring his ex-fiance returned to him a few months before. Then he started talking about how he didn’t want to get rid of it in case she changed her mind.

—SarahJane

Aftermath: I feel sorry for him but not for myself.